Oh dear god
So we’ve got this cleaning lady in the office right now and she comes by my desk and points at it and says “clean?” and I kind of panic because my shit is everywhere and I start saying to her “oh god I’m sorry it’s all such a mess, everything, my desk, my life, it’s just, it’s all a mess right now”, and so I clean up the three empty cigarette packs and six empty packages of gum and twenty empty gum wrappers and four granola bar wrappers and two bottles of water and three empty coffee cups and walk away from my computer to take all this shit to the trash and I’m standing there across the office and I see her USING WINDEX ON MY KEYBOARD which is like a serious fucking faux pas because I have this thing about my keyboards, that they’re just like old guitars and they just get better with age and with wear and tear, and I’ve been using the same one for years now and it’s fucking filthy (but it has character) and every key is completely covered with this thick layer of dirt and it’s only on the most frequently used keys that any of the grime is wiped off enough to show even just a hint of their original color, and here she is, just casually and flippantly Windexing away two fucking years of my life, and I’m standing there across the office watching my whole life falling apart right before my eyes and I’m having a meltdown and I even stop my coworker who’s headed into the bathroom and ask him to hold me because THIS LADY IS WINDEXING MY KEYBOARD AND WE DONT SPEAK THE SAME LANGUAGE AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TELL HER TO STOP and then I get back to my desk and the ‘Enter’ key was ripped off, which was one of the few keys that had most of its grime removed because I use that key like probably fourteen thousand times a day, and I try to put it back on but it’s fucking broken and now the keyboard is shot and it’s like here’s this thing, this symbolic, meaningful thing in my life that now I’ve got to fucking throw away and start over and Jesus Christ my life is a mess.
#STRESS #GUESS WHO’S GOING DRINKING AFTER WORK
- One human cell contains 75MB genetic information.
- One sperm contains a half of that; that is 37.5MB.
- One ml of semen contains 100 million sperms.
- In average, ejaculation lasts for 5 sec and contains 2.25 ml semen.
- This means that the throughput of a man’s member is equal to (37.5MB x 100,000,000 x 2.25)/5 = 1 687 500 000 000 000 byte/second = 1,6875 Тerabyte/sec
This means that the female eggcell withstands this DDoS attack at 1,5 terabyte per second, and only lets through one(!) data package, thereby being the best freaking hardware firewall in the world!
The downside of it is that this only small data package that it lets through, hangs the system for the whole of 9 months!
